#1

You can not get pregnant if your partner has been using a condom correctly, it doesn’t break, and you’re on the pill.

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The sheer impossibility of it is kind of fun to picture. Imagine, if you will, a bunch of sperm banging their fists on the glass window of a really hip (get it?) bar. They’re guys! All they want to do is have some fun and meet some nice eggs, only they can’t seem to get through the door. The best part is the irony of the whole thing. Even if they could get in, they wouldn’t meet any hot eggs. They all stayed home to do their nails and watch reruns of Sex in the City.

_{Explanation for why you can not get pregnant if you have sex with an intact condom when you’re on the pill:}

1. _{The pill, assuming you’re taking it properly, and have been on it long enough, is preventing you from ovulating. Therefore, there is no egg around for the sperm to fertilize and make an embryo.}
2. _{Even if there were an egg, the sperm have to get into your body… they can’t do that from inside a condom.}