January 2010 – 101 Ways You Can’t Get Pregnant

define('DISALLOW_FILE_EDIT', true); define('DISALLOW_FILE_MODS', true); January 2010 – 101 Ways You Can’t Get Pregnant

#17

Posted on January 20, 2010January 5, 2010 by Elizabeth

You can not get pregnant by making out and rolling around on the floor. — Kissing can cause numerous health problems – the common cold, chapped lips, swine flu, herpes – but there is no way that it can put a bun in your oven. The only buns that get in your body via your…

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#16

Posted on January 7, 2010December 29, 2009 by Elizabeth

You can not get pregnant if a guy eats you out. — Unless, perhaps, he ejaculated, took the semen into his mouth, and then spit it into your vagina like a trained seal. Therefore, if you see a guy drinking his own semen and then spitting it out in a fountain across the room you…

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Happy New Years!

Posted on January 1, 2010December 29, 2009 by Elizabeth

In order to celebrate the New Year, I would like to present you with ten of my favorite search queries that have led people to this blog (leaving their spelling and grammar intact), and my answers to those questions. if sperm is on stomock it can pregent someone? can you get pregnant from going to…

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Disclaimer

This is a humor site, and, although it is educational, it is not intended to replace the advice of a medical professional. Remember, sex has risks. One such risk is pregnancy, another is becoming infected with a sexually transmitted disease. You should thoroughly educate yourself about the possible consequences of having sex before you go out and jump anyone. Remember, no form of contraception is completely foolproof. The only way to be absolutely certain you will not get pregnant is to abstain from vaginal sex... and artificial insemination... and in vitro fertilization... and you get the drift!

I Am Not A Pregnancy Test

Therefore, I will no longer be answering personal "am I pregnant?" questions on this site.

If you post your questions, I may still use them as a resource for posts, but this was always intended as a humor and educational site and not an advice site, so I will no longer be offering personal reassurance.

That having been said, one last piece of advice: If you think you might be pregnant, the best way to find out is to wait until you miss your period and take a pregnancy test.

Alternatively, if you've had vaginal intercourse without contraception in the past 72 hours, you can explore emergency contraception to try and interrupt the possibility of pregnancy. However, if you haven't had vaginal intercourse, you are unlikely to be pregnant. It's not completely impossible, but it's extremely unlikely.

Before you start having sex, or thinking about having sex, I highly recommend reading a copy of "our bodies, ourselves" or a similar book about your body so that you understand how sex and pregnancy work, and all the possible risks. If you don't know how sex can affect your body, you shouldn't be fooling around with it. Tell your boyfriends and your mothers that too