You can not get pregnant if a man sticks his tongue inside you… unless he then follows it with his penis.

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I feel a strange need to make certain that none of my readers here are planning on having sex with zombies. Sex with zombies can be hazardous for your health, and under no circumstances should you allow one to store body parts inside your vagina – tongue, penis, kidneys, colon…. nothing

Although storing a zombie’s body parts in your vagina can not make you pregnant, doing so could lead to:

a) All sorts of strange smells.
b) Weird inside-out zombie transformation.
c) False sensations of pregnancy as they continue to move around inside you looking for a comfortable home.

When a zombie approaches you for a romantic date, just say no, then go, and tell someone you trust that the hordes are on their way and it’s time to go for the fire ax.

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_{Explanation for an enthusiastic session of oral pleasuring will not leave you with a bun in the oven}

Mouths do not contain sperm. Therefore, no amount of having a man stick his tongue inside you will cause sperm to end up in your body. Without the joyous chemical reactions that occur when sperm meets egg, somewhat akin to the scientific alchemy that turns dry and wet ingredients into a loaf of bread, there can be no baby. Putting something in your vagina does not make you pregnant. Sperm meeting egg and implanting in your uterus is what makes you pregnant… and for that you need semen.

You can not get pregnant by setting your clothing on fire.

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In fact, have no idea why someone might think you could get pregnant this way. Maybe they’d been watching too much science fiction and were imagining semen infested smoke curling up from a young man’s soiled pants and entering the womb of his lover?

Hmm… if I sold that plot to the right hentai director I bet I could make millions!

_{Explanation for why I’m bringing this up}

Someone asked me if it was possible to get pregnant by pants burning. I suspect they mean dry humping, which we’ve already covered, but I am not completely certain. I suppose someone could think that “hot” sex involves fire…

If you give someone a blow job, make out with him, and then he goes down on you… it will not make you pregnant.

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I suppose that if you held the semen in your mouth, passed it to his mouth, and then he tried to spit it up into you like a whale shooting water from its blowhole, there might be some chance, but…. you’d really have to work at it.

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_{Explanation for why you can not get pregnant from a chain of oral exchange:}

If a guy comes in your mouth, which has its own risks, you will most likely swallow the semen or spit it out. Then, when you kiss him, most of it will be gone already. When he goes down on you, he will have presumably swallowed at least once. There’s not going to be living sperm in his mouth to get inside of you. Even if you passed your semen to his mouth and he swallowed it you’d be fine.