#8

Posted on August 6, 2009August 6, 2009 by Elizabeth

You can not get pregnant by getting sperm on your jeans.

—

Even if those jeans are so tight that elderly women can tell from three blocks away that you’re not wearing underwear.

What you actually need to be worried about is getting sperm in your genes…

_{Explanation for why you can not get pregnant by making a bad fashion choice:}

_{There is no way for the sperm on your jeans to get into your vagina, climb up through your cervix, and fertilize a fashion-forward egg. In fact, although the moisture from the semen might seep through the fabric of your jeans to get onto your skin, it’s not even terribly likely that the sperm would go with it. There’s a far better chance that the whole mess would dry into a nice crusty stain. Don’t worry though. Even if the dried semen gets onto your underwear while you’re washing it, you still won’t get pregnant.}

Disclaimer

This is a humor site, and, although it is educational, it is not intended to replace the advice of a medical professional. Remember, sex has risks. One such risk is pregnancy, another is becoming infected with a sexually transmitted disease. You should thoroughly educate yourself about the possible consequences of having sex before you go out and jump anyone. Remember, no form of contraception is completely foolproof. The only way to be absolutely certain you will not get pregnant is to abstain from vaginal sex... and artificial insemination... and in vitro fertilization... and you get the drift!

I Am Not A Pregnancy Test

Therefore, I will no longer be answering personal "am I pregnant?" questions on this site.

If you post your questions, I may still use them as a resource for posts, but this was always intended as a humor and educational site and not an advice site, so I will no longer be offering personal reassurance.

That having been said, one last piece of advice: If you think you might be pregnant, the best way to find out is to wait until you miss your period and take a pregnancy test.

Alternatively, if you've had vaginal intercourse without contraception in the past 72 hours, you can explore emergency contraception to try and interrupt the possibility of pregnancy. However, if you haven't had vaginal intercourse, you are unlikely to be pregnant. It's not completely impossible, but it's extremely unlikely.

Before you start having sex, or thinking about having sex, I highly recommend reading a copy of "our bodies, ourselves" or a similar book about your body so that you understand how sex and pregnancy work, and all the possible risks. If you don't know how sex can affect your body, you shouldn't be fooling around with it. Tell your boyfriends and your mothers that too

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