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101 Ways You Can’t Get Pregnant

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#11

Posted on September 6, 2009August 6, 2009 by Elizabeth

You can not get pregnant if someone pees in your mouth.

—

I really hope this isn’t what my mother was thinking about when she used to call me a “potty mouth”


Explanation for why you can not get pregnant by imbibing filtered water straight from the pump:

Urine doesn’t have sperm in it. Without sperm, you can not get pregnant.

Even if urine did have sperm in it you couldn’t get pregnant by drinking it. The stomach is not connected to the uterus. There’s no way for the sperm to get where it needs to go, and even if it did, the sperm would be dead from the stomach acid before it got there.

*I wish I had made this question up, but I didn’t. Someone actually asked.

3 thoughts on “#11”

  1. cloe says:
    December 17, 2009 at 7:13 pm

    So urine does defiantly not contain sperm what so ever? This question Im gonna ask is stupid but anyway, if a male goes to the toilet for a WEE there is no possible chance that when he comes back semen will be present on his hands (if he didn’t wash them). And could it be passed from hand to hand? and then the girl touches herself then gets pregnant?

  2. Elizabeth says:
    December 17, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    There is no way you’re going to get pregnant that way. Any sperm that was still in the urethra while a man was urinating would get killed by the acidic urine. Therefore, if there was urine on his hands, it got on your hands, and you touched yourself, you would not get pregnant. Urine and semen are not the same fluid. They just come out of the same place.

  3. cloe says:
    December 18, 2009 at 7:48 am

    Thank you, I had to ask. People on some other websites was saying it can happen I was really scared I know its ridicules. I should have known anyway I took a pregnancy test it was negative, I’ve been on my period ever since it happened. I also herd that some women came on her period… and she was 4 months pregnant, if i was, pregnant I would be 4 month.

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Disclaimer

This is a humor site, and, although it is educational, it is not intended to replace the advice of a medical professional. Remember, sex has risks. One such risk is pregnancy, another is becoming infected with a sexually transmitted disease. You should thoroughly educate yourself about the possible consequences of having sex before you go out and jump anyone. Remember, no form of contraception is completely foolproof. The only way to be absolutely certain you will not get pregnant is to abstain from vaginal sex... and artificial insemination... and in vitro fertilization... and you get the drift!

I Am Not A Pregnancy Test

Therefore, I will no longer be answering personal "am I pregnant?" questions on this site.

If you post your questions, I may still use them as a resource for posts, but this was always intended as a humor and educational site and not an advice site, so I will no longer be offering personal reassurance.

That having been said, one last piece of advice: If you think you might be pregnant, the best way to find out is to wait until you miss your period and take a pregnancy test.

Alternatively, if you've had vaginal intercourse without contraception in the past 72 hours, you can explore emergency contraception to try and interrupt the possibility of pregnancy. However, if you haven't had vaginal intercourse, you are unlikely to be pregnant. It's not completely impossible, but it's extremely unlikely.

Before you start having sex, or thinking about having sex, I highly recommend reading a copy of "our bodies, ourselves" or a similar book about your body so that you understand how sex and pregnancy work, and all the possible risks. If you don't know how sex can affect your body, you shouldn't be fooling around with it. Tell your boyfriends and your mothers that too

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