You can not get pregnant if a man sticks his tongue inside you… unless he then follows it with his penis.

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I feel a strange need to make certain that none of my readers here are planning on having sex with zombies. Sex with zombies can be hazardous for your health, and under no circumstances should you allow one to store body parts inside your vagina – tongue, penis, kidneys, colon…. nothing

Although storing a zombie’s body parts in your vagina can not make you pregnant, doing so could lead to:

a) All sorts of strange smells.
b) Weird inside-out zombie transformation.
c) False sensations of pregnancy as they continue to move around inside you looking for a comfortable home.

When a zombie approaches you for a romantic date, just say no, then go, and tell someone you trust that the hordes are on their way and it’s time to go for the fire ax.

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_{Explanation for an enthusiastic session of oral pleasuring will not leave you with a bun in the oven}

Mouths do not contain sperm. Therefore, no amount of having a man stick his tongue inside you will cause sperm to end up in your body. Without the joyous chemical reactions that occur when sperm meets egg, somewhat akin to the scientific alchemy that turns dry and wet ingredients into a loaf of bread, there can be no baby. Putting something in your vagina does not make you pregnant. Sperm meeting egg and implanting in your uterus is what makes you pregnant… and for that you need semen.