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And One Or Two Ways You Actually Can

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#29

Posted on February 10, 2012February 10, 2012 by Elizabeth

You can not get pregnant by humping a pillow with your clothing on*.

—

You also can not get pregnant by humping a pillow with your clothing off.

In fact, you can not get pregnant by humping any inanimate object, unless it is so coated in still-wet human semen that some can survive long enough to get inside of you.


Explanation for why you can’t get pregnant by humping a pillow – naked or clothed:

Sexual pleasure doesn’t get you pregnant. Orgasm doesn’t get you pregnant. The only thing that can get you pregnant is exposure to living sperm, which have to enter your vagina, swim up through your cervix, and find a viable egg to fertilize. If a sexual activity doesn’t expose you to sperm, it can’t get you pregnant.

Sexual activities that don’t expose you to sperm can still give you STDs, but you’re at no risk from an STD when you’re humping a clean pillowcase, or any other clean object, with your clothes on.

*Yes, this was a real question.

8 thoughts on “#29”

  1. The Batman AUS says:
    February 13, 2012 at 12:46 am

    …Really

  2. zen says:
    February 18, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    Little pillow-babies!!

  3. emily says:
    March 5, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    Can i get pregnant if i humped a pillow and a bathroom sink with my clothes on? And also if i touched myself but with my clothes on? Can i get pregnant?

  4. Elizabeth says:
    March 5, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    This was already answered: http://www.101waysyoucantgetpregnant.com/2012/02/10/29/

  5. Anonymous says:
    August 22, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    What if you never had sex in your life and you finger yourself all the time and now your not getting you period and you think you might be and your scared?

  6. Elizabeth says:
    August 22, 2012 at 7:25 pm

    Touching yourself can not get you pregnant. Pregnancy requires sperm.

  7. janet says:
    December 17, 2012 at 12:19 am

    i had sex with my boyfriend then i licked his penis very good alot of times then he stuck his penis in me again can i get pregnant??

  8. Elizabeth says:
    December 17, 2012 at 7:03 am

    Yes. You had sex with your boyfriend. That is a way that you can get pregnant, whether or not you licked his penis afterward/before.

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Disclaimer

This is a humor site, and, although it is educational, it is not intended to replace the advice of a medical professional. Remember, sex has risks. One such risk is pregnancy, another is becoming infected with a sexually transmitted disease. You should thoroughly educate yourself about the possible consequences of having sex before you go out and jump anyone. Remember, no form of contraception is completely foolproof. The only way to be absolutely certain you will not get pregnant is to abstain from vaginal sex... and artificial insemination... and in vitro fertilization... and you get the drift!

I Am Not A Pregnancy Test

Therefore, I will no longer be answering personal "am I pregnant?" questions on this site.

If you post your questions, I may still use them as a resource for posts, but this was always intended as a humor and educational site and not an advice site, so I will no longer be offering personal reassurance.

That having been said, one last piece of advice: If you think you might be pregnant, the best way to find out is to wait until you miss your period and take a pregnancy test.

Alternatively, if you've had vaginal intercourse without contraception in the past 72 hours, you can explore emergency contraception to try and interrupt the possibility of pregnancy. However, if you haven't had vaginal intercourse, you are unlikely to be pregnant. It's not completely impossible, but it's extremely unlikely.

Before you start having sex, or thinking about having sex, I highly recommend reading a copy of "our bodies, ourselves" or a similar book about your body so that you understand how sex and pregnancy work, and all the possible risks. If you don't know how sex can affect your body, you shouldn't be fooling around with it. Tell your boyfriends and your mothers that too

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