Body Fluids That Can NOT Get You Pregnant Saliva Blood Sweat Tears Nasal Secretions Vitreous Humor Bile Cerebral Spinal Fluid Body Fluids That CAN Get You Pregnant Semen What About Urine?: The first, and sometimes second, time a man urinates after he has ejaculated (come), it is possible to find some viable (living) sperm…
Giving a man a blow job, or masturbating him to orgasm, does NOT use up his sperm, and it is NOT a form of contraception. If you have sex with him afterwards, he can still get you pregnant.
Are There Ways To Find Out if I’m Pregnant?
To answer this question, which I receive with some regularity, I have prepared the following two lists:
Ten Ways You CAN NOT Find Out If You’re Pregnant
- Ask the Internet
- Ask your friends
- Ask your parents
- Ask a psychic
- Wait to see if your period is one or two days late
- Pee on a stick (see exception below)
- Pee on a rabbit
- Do anything else to a rabbit
- Flip a coin
- Have a Pap smear
Ten Ways You CAN Find Out That You’re Pregnant
- Pee on a stick that is a pregnancy test*
- Pee in a cup then use your urine for a home pregnancy test
- Pee in a cup at a doctor’s office, which they will test for pregnancy
- Give blood to your doctor so she can test for pregnancy
- Give blood to a nurse so your doctor can test for pregnancy
- Give blood to a nurse so she can test for pregnancy
- Have a medical emergency, and get tested for pregnancy at the ER
- Need an X-Ray and be unable to remember your last period, thus prompting your doctor to test you for pregnancy.
- Have an ultrasound when you feel something kicking in your abdomen
- Wait to see if a baby pops out of your vagina in approximately 40 weeks
*Note: Read the instructions on the test box. It takes several days/weeks before these tests will be able to determine if an act of unprotected sex has rendered you pregnant. You can not take them the next day. You can, however, take emergency contraception – and you should if you’ve had unprotected sex and do not want to get pregnant.
I am not a pregnancy test. Therefore, I will no longer be answering personal “am I pregnant?” questions. I may still use them as a resource for topics for articles on this site, but this was always intended as a humor and educational site and not an advice site. That having been said, one last…
Happy New Years!
In order to celebrate the New Year, I would like to present you with ten of my favorite search queries that have led people to this blog (leaving their spelling and grammar intact), and my answers to those questions. if sperm is on stomock it can pregent someone? can you get pregnant from going to…
For every rule, there is an exception…
Apparently if, after a day of starving* yourself right as you’re ovulating, you give your boyfriend oral sex and then almost immediately get stabbed in the abdomen in such a way that the contents of your stomach merge with your uterus before the stomach acid has a chance to kill the sperm … there may…
PSA: Jumping Jacks Are Not Contraceptives
The Question: “Is it true that you can’t get pregnant if you get up and jump around after sex?” My Answer: No. An Addendum From The Fabulous Erika: Like salmon, sperm are perfectly capable of spawning by swimming upstream. Spelling It Out in Plain English: You can still get pregnant if you jump up and…
In case you were wondering…
Almost every post on this website is taken directly from a real question from a real young woman who is terrified that she might have become pregnant… and that her life might be over. It’s easy to laugh at the thought that anyone could honestly believe that something like getting sperm on your jeans could…
Just a thought…
If you don’t have enough time or money to buy condoms so that you can avoid an unplanned pregnancy, then you really don’t have enough time or money to have a child. Actions have consequences, and there is always another night. If you really want to be intimate with someone and you don’t have the…
Who We Are
101 Ways You Can’t Get Pregnant is the brainchild of two sex educators – Elizabeth Boskey and Jessica Mesick – who wanted to find a humorous way to address the questions they get every day. In a few days, after we get up and rolling, we’re going to be sharing with you all the ways…