Skip to content

101 Ways You Can’t Get Pregnant

And One Or Two Ways You Actually Can

Menu
  • About
  • Con(tra)ception
  • Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Menu

#4

Posted on March 11, 2009March 11, 2009 by Elizabeth

You can’t get pregnant if your boyfriend cleans himself up with a tissue after he ejaculates, you pick up that tissue to throw it away, and a few hours later you go to the bathroom and wipe yourself. Not even if, in all that time, you haven’t washed your hands.

—

For gods sake, though, if you’re going to go around picking up dirty tissues and throwing them away… WASH YOUR HANDS AFTERWARD. Eww. Better to leave them all over the floor until they dry out, get all crusty, and are no danger to anyone.

Explanation for why you can’t get pregnant from picking up a semen covered Kleenex (and then touching yourself hours later):

It’s hard to get pregnant. The sperm have to make it through the vagina, get up into the cervix, and find an egg. Wiping the outside of your body with toilet paper held by a hand that happens to have been in the general vicinity of semen a few hours earlier just won’t do it. The semen, and the sperm it contains, have to get INSIDE your vagina.

2 thoughts on “#4”

  1. Pingback: #6 « 101 Ways You Can’t Get Pregnant
  2. Candy says:
    April 13, 2011 at 3:31 am

    My bf and i were making out with clothes on. He ejaculated but nothing appeared on his pants. However he went to the bathroom and put a tissue in his boxers to prevent sperms from swimmin to the outside. He MIGHT have touched the semen in his boxerbriefs while placing the tissue. He did not wash his hands but he says he didnt touch anything and he didnt feel any stickiness on his hands or else he would have washed. He then held my hand. About 7 minutes later i went to the bathroom amd used the same hand to hold tissue to wipe my pee. Could i become pregnant?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Disclaimer

This is a humor site, and, although it is educational, it is not intended to replace the advice of a medical professional. Remember, sex has risks. One such risk is pregnancy, another is becoming infected with a sexually transmitted disease. You should thoroughly educate yourself about the possible consequences of having sex before you go out and jump anyone. Remember, no form of contraception is completely foolproof. The only way to be absolutely certain you will not get pregnant is to abstain from vaginal sex... and artificial insemination... and in vitro fertilization... and you get the drift!

I Am Not A Pregnancy Test

Therefore, I will no longer be answering personal "am I pregnant?" questions on this site.

If you post your questions, I may still use them as a resource for posts, but this was always intended as a humor and educational site and not an advice site, so I will no longer be offering personal reassurance.

That having been said, one last piece of advice: If you think you might be pregnant, the best way to find out is to wait until you miss your period and take a pregnancy test.

Alternatively, if you've had vaginal intercourse without contraception in the past 72 hours, you can explore emergency contraception to try and interrupt the possibility of pregnancy. However, if you haven't had vaginal intercourse, you are unlikely to be pregnant. It's not completely impossible, but it's extremely unlikely.

Before you start having sex, or thinking about having sex, I highly recommend reading a copy of "our bodies, ourselves" or a similar book about your body so that you understand how sex and pregnancy work, and all the possible risks. If you don't know how sex can affect your body, you shouldn't be fooling around with it. Tell your boyfriends and your mothers that too

Archives

  • December 2013
  • April 2012
  • February 2012
  • December 2011
  • October 2011
  • June 2011
  • April 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009

Blogroll

  • About Sexuality
  • Am I Pregnant?
  • Contraception
  • Planned Parenthood
  • Scarlet Teen
  • Sexually Transmitted Diseases
  • The Talk
  • Vagina Pagina

#69: You can not get pregnant doing a sixty-nine.

© 2023 101 Ways You Can’t Get Pregnant | Powered by Superbs Personal Blog theme