#69: You can not get pregnant doing a sixty-nine.

#16

You can not get pregnant if a guy eats you out.


Unless, perhaps, he ejaculated, took the semen into his mouth, and then spit it into your vagina like a trained seal.

Therefore, if you see a guy drinking his own semen and then spitting it out in a fountain across the room you should strongly consider whether or not you really want to have oral sex with him.

Of course, if you were practicing safe oral sex, this wouldn’t matter, since it would just hit the barrier, bounce, and he could swallow it himself. I don’t know that I’d want to have sex with anyone who practices being a sperm seal in his spare time, but your mileage may vary.


Explanation for why you can not get pregnant by being orally pleasured by a person of either gender:

People’s mouths do not contain sperm. Without sperm, there cannot be pregnancy.


In fact, there is no fluid that comes out of man that can get you pregnant except for his semen. There is no fluid that comes out of a woman that can get you pregnant at all.

9 Responses to #16

  1. confused says:

    If you get a blow job then make out afterwards, then eat her out. is there a possibility she might get pregnant?

    however i did not cum in her mouth, maybe jus precum

  2. Elizabeth says:

    The chain of events that would have to transpire for someone to get pregnant that way is so unlikely, and disgusting, that I feel safe in saying… no. You’d pretty much have to be spitting semen into her body, and realistically speaking one of you would have swallowed before that could actually happen.

  3. Dax says:

    i shall describe you my situation…
    well…i oraly satisfied my girlfriend…and i inserted my finger into her.
    preejaculate or ejaculate didnt come out…because my penis was in my jeans.
    i know that she cant get pregnant without the sperm…but a little worm in my head keeps saying ‘What IF…what IF’…so i wanted to ask you…is it possible to get pregnant that way.

    thank you. (:

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Take that little worm, put it out on a hot sidewalk in the summer sun, and leave it to die. Go with your intellect – no sperm, no pregnancy – and last time I checked people neither have sperm coming out of their fingers nor their tongues.

  5. Dax says:

    ah thank you very much. i feel much better now (:

  6. Ester says:

    Can i be pregnant if i gave my boy friend a blow job then he cums in my mouth, then i spit the semen on a tissue paper, then we make out afterward (I intentionally put my saliva on my partner), then he ate me out… would I get pregnant?… would the sperm die if it was mixed with saliva?

  7. Natalia says:

    Ah, Elizabeth.
    I absolutely love this blog of yours.
    Gives a good laugh and I can feel my brain cells making babies right now ;)

  8. Tbabysmurff says:

    Hi , just wondering if my boyfriend ate me out and a lot of salivia(spit) went into my vagina could I then get pregnant?

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Disclaimer:

This is a humor site, and, although it is educational, it is not intended to replace the advice of a medical professional. Remember, sex has risks. One such risk is pregnancy, another is becoming infected with a sexually transmitted disease. You should thoroughly educate yourself about the possible consequences of having sex before you go out and jump anyone. Remember, no form of contraception is completely foolproof. The only way to be absolutely certain you will not get pregnant is to abstain from vaginal sex... and artificial insemination... and in vitro fertilization... and you get the drift!

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