Author: Elizabeth

If a man has ejaculated on the floor of a shower, and then you go take a shower and sit on the floor, you’re not going to get pregnant. — Drains are not the Super Sekrit entrance to your vagina. When the semen slowly swirls down the pipes into the sewer system, it does not…

You can not get pregnant from petting a dog that may or may not have had the misfortune of lying in a bed covered with your brother’s ejaculate*. — You also can not get pregnant petting a cat that may have been covered in semen… or a gerbil… or a fish. Even if you go…

You can not get pregnant if you are wearing underwear and a sanitary napkin, your boyfriend is wearing underwear, and you rub up against each other until he comes in an explosion of unbridled desire. — The presence or absence of a bra has no effect on the probability of a pregnancy… unless it’s a…

You can not get pregnant if a man sticks his tongue inside you… unless he then follows it with his penis. — I feel a strange need to make certain that none of my readers here are planning on having sex with zombies. Sex with zombies can be hazardous for your health, and under no…

You can not get pregnant by setting your clothing on fire. — In fact, have no idea why someone might think you could get pregnant this way. Maybe they’d been watching too much science fiction and were imagining semen infested smoke curling up from a young man’s soiled pants and entering the womb of his…

If you give someone a blow job, make out with him, and then he goes down on you… it will not make you pregnant. — I suppose that if you held the semen in your mouth, passed it to his mouth, and then he tried to spit it up into you like a whale shooting…

You can not get pregnant by making out and rolling around on the floor. — Kissing can cause numerous health problems – the common cold, chapped lips, swine flu, herpes – but there is no way that it can put a bun in your oven. The only buns that get in your body via your…

You can not get pregnant if a guy eats you out. — Unless, perhaps, he ejaculated, took the semen into his mouth, and then spit it into your vagina like a trained seal. Therefore, if you see a guy drinking his own semen and then spitting it out in a fountain across the room you…